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How to become a Pirate
Proper Training from Captain Jack Sparrow

Good eye mate, I am the one and only Captain Jack Sparrow. If you want to learn how to be a pirate, follow these 5 easy steps and then you will be ready to sail the seven seas and be able to enjoy the wonderes things that come with being a pirate, such as the rum...rum's good.

1. The first step in becoming a pirate, is wardrobe. A pirate must not ever wear something so funny looking that his crew would make him walk the plank. Something that says I'm a Captain, not one of those bloody pirates who swob the deck of a ship. A pirate must always wear his hat, do not take it of for any occasion. Pick a hat that is not to big or to small, example, do not wear a hat as big as Barbosa's, it makes you look funny. Perfect, now your ready for the next step.

2. Now you need a ship. You can find them at your local ship shop, or shop for them online at Get a very big ship to impress the girls, but avoid getting slapped. It hurts.

3. Now you need a highly trained crew. Ask anyone in the neighborhood, if you have the time. Clearly you don't absolutely have to get a crew, but since we are training, well just do it anyway. How does that sound mate? But if anyone asks who gave you that advice, just say Will Turner did.

4. This next step is how to use a sword. The truth is I have no idea at all, most of the time...I just get lucky, savy? If you want proper training with a sword, just ask Will Turner. Since we are still in training use a plastic sword for safety.

5. Now if you have asked him you are ready for this next step. How to pillage and plunder. Take what you can give nothing back. Be sneaky, surprise whoever you are steeling from, if you get caught you must fight. Use Will Turner's advice with the sword. If you loose, you must run away. And one more thing mate, make sure to avoid Davy Jones.

Congratulations mate! You are now ready to go off on an adventure as a true pirate, just like me. Drink up me hearties YO HO!!!